What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

My boss called me on a Saturday to let me know he that due to financial reasons, I was no longer needed effective immediatley. 3 days later, he sends me a text asking about work issues. How do I respond?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

When I buy a house, do I automatically own all items the previous owner failed to remove from the property?

What do you mean son?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

How do I deal with my annoying little kids?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Do you know what she said mum?

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True - how I loved my mum!

What! how could you do that?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”